Books that changed my life and will change yours too...

Oi you, yeah you. This isn't your typical BORING book review, rather a secret invite into the best, juicy bookclub in town. A bookclub to inspire, change lives and motivate you to get up offa that thing. I truly love these books I am about to share with you, and would happily read them on repeat, like a loop pedal of never-ending wise words. These books have changed my life, and they will change yours too. Remember what happens in bookclub stays in bookclub. Sitting comfortably? Let’s commence.

Let’s start with the beginning of Bella’s journey of reading. I’ll quickly set the scene of my childhood competency. ‘Has that girl been dropped at birth’? Yes. But it was self inflicted. Indeed, I did a handstand when I was 2 or 3 and forgot to put my hands down (on hard ol’ concrete). Creative, adventurous, daring child. It’s all fun and games being an attention seeker - until you have a series of epileptic fits following your ‘look at ME’ performance…

It gets better... At primary school, I also recall being one of those special, chosen ones who got put into the ‘Ladybug’ group. A VIP group of approx. 5 ‘unique’ kids who got taught how to put butter and jam on bread, whilst the rest of the class learnt the normal ABC curriculum. I may not know how to handstand properly, BUT I do know the order of buttering and jamming on bread you imbeciles. Plus I don’t like butter so this isn’t going to work out.

“It’s obvious you’re just a bad loser,” said Chloe. “I want my notebook!” (Jaqueline Wilson, Sleepovers)

SLEEPOVERS (By Jacqueline Wilson)

Aside from Spot the Dog and We’re Going On a Bear Hunt, I don’t recall connecting with any novels until ‘Sleepovers’ the book was gifted into my chubby little child hands. Transformational. A book I could finally connect with, whilst I pondered the relevance of learning how to ‘make’ jam sandwiches at school. This dilemma, paired with my hatred for butter on anything and the contrasting evidence of someone holding a buttercup under the my chin to prove otherwise.

Ah the youth.

THE PLOT:

Long story short. The book accounts an array of fantastical sleepovers between a group of ‘friends’. There’s this gal called Chloe. Basically Chloe is a bitch, she picks on others and stirs the pot BIG TIME. For example, amongst the drama “Chloe sabotages Daisy’s pizza covering it with anchovies which Daisy hates”.

Indeed, it was a relatable novel from Wilson. Truth is, we all had a Chloe in primary school. Perhaps you don’t resonate with a Chloe, perhaps you were a Chloe….There will always be Chloe’s in life, it’s not your problem it's theirs. (By the way, all Chloe’s I know are great, like Karen’s I don’t want you getting all offended about the use of your name and I am sorry for dragging you into this).

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

- Sleepovers are fun.

- Don’t take no shit.

- The true colours of lil meanies will always come out.

- Stay true to you hun.

- Anchovies are indeed really salty on Pizza, ew.

Spot the enthusiastic Book Bag lover

“There are secret opportunities in every failure” (Sophia Amoruso You are a GIRLBOSS)

#GIRLBOSS (By Sophia Amoruso)

THE PLOT:

Next Up. #Girlboss is the kinda book that makes you want to quit your job at the local cafe and start masterminding your own side hustle. Where do you think 21stCenturyBella Bollocks got her inspo? Indeed, GIRLBOSS was a major kick up the booty to start the Blog. Books are powerful man.

Picture the scene, the year was 2018, laying on a sun lounger in Sorrento Italy, Pino Grigio in one hand, GirlBoss in the other, pennies in my pocket. My cafe job awaited me at home, ready to smack my tanned little face back into reality. A few months later I ventured back home to the land of University and finally declared my retirement from making bad coffee for hangry people.

Side note - Bella has quite the habit now of reading these ‘self- help’ books and drastically leaving jobs that no longer ‘align’ with her inner #girlboss and subsequently going oh ****. A few eye rolls from unimpressed, realistic (boring) onlookers later, we move… 'That was such a good oppor..'

I apologise, how very irresponsible of me. Can’t help it. I’m a #GIRLBOSS.

Just to clarify, you can still be a GIRLBOSS and work in a cafe, you be anyone and work anywhere and be a GIRLBOSS. It’s a state of mind. Whatever form it takes; be authentically you, work hard, get what you want, have fun along the way, take accountability, you can be whatever you damn want.

Amoruso makes hustling seem sexy, being broke seem cool and being weird the new trendy. Empowering, funny, inspiring and adventurous. Not me, the book silly! Amoruso accounts the evolution of her business ‘Nasty Gal Vintage’ (OG Nasty Gal, not the Nasty - Nasty Gal now bought by boohoodotcom). Amoruso takes you on a witty and wise adventure; from getting a hernia to living in a pool house, from eBay feuds to shoplifting and hitchhiking with weirdos. All whilst exploring the beautiful hardships that transformed a spontaneous eBay store into a booming business. Amoruso is real, relatable and incredibly cool. A delicious book to ignite your inner #girlboss.

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

- Question everything.

- Believe in yourself and other people will too.

- Creativity is an incredible thing and your finest asset.

- Just start that ‘thing’ you’ve been wanting to do already.

- You a BADASS BITCH.

Me living it up in Sorrento 2018 reading #GIRLBOSS

Me and my sis at our old stomping ground Le Cafe

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn’t hear the music” (Friedrich Nietzsche, The 5am Club)

THE 5AM CLUB (By Robin Sharma)

THE PLOT:

This book is actually a story book, which threw me off when I started reading it and the main character was called 'The Spellbinder'. What a silly and completely unrealistic name. I don't want silly fictional campfire stories, I want facts, how-to's and I want it now! However, once I got over my impatient ego and stuck with it, the 5am Club is a beautiful lil tale full of secret and inspiring messages. That will... persuade you to rise early and love doing it.

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

- You get lots done waking up earlier yay.

- You learn to love the uncomfortable quiet with yourself.

-- People in the morning smile and say hello like the olden days (nicer people).

- 20-20-20 rule (20 mins Move, 20 Mins Reflect, 20 Mins Grow).

- Workout in morning = sweat minimises cortisol (fear hormone) & produces BDFN = repairs brain cells & promotes new neural connections. = More chill /chirpy and quick thinking.

- The morning is a special, distraction-free, magical 'ME' time. (Once you get used to waking up early)

- Waking up early is hard at first but you learn to love it and it becomes ADDICTIVE.

- You are more capable than you think...

(Snapshots from when I tried the 5am Club method for the first time back in 2019 & spoke to myself via my webcam)

(The glamorous, more aesthetically pleasing portrayal of rising early.)

“The symptoms are a messenger of a deeper problem. Let’s get to the deeper problem.”(Johann Hari, Lost Connections)

LOST CONNECTIONS (By Johann Hari)

THE PLOT:

I think everyone should read this book. I really, genuinely mean that. Without being sarcastic or witty for a split second - this ain't no self-help book, this is a survival bible for you and the people you love.

It's fabulous to see the discussion of mental health growing, however the stigma surrounding complexities we don't understand, the factors, influences and treatment are still very wishy washy. From my experience, sometimes we don't even know we're not 100% (take 2019 NYE smiley Bella, pre hysterical NYE meltdown). Perhaps we assume having a mental health issue only applies to people in straight-jackets in padded rooms. Hello, here's some anti-depressants and a leaflet on the negative side effects. Thank U, Next. Truth is we can be fully functioning, busy, beautiful smiley people and still have mental health problemos and be blissfully unaware until it manifests itself in other ways (see 2015 Bella). BING BANG BONG. U K hun? No actually I don't think am, and that's okay.

Lost Connections, is a wonderful book that reframes looking at mental health from a fresh perspective. Author Hari, delves into his journey with depression and the factors in our everyday lives that can impact our mental health both positively and negatively. This book re-empowers us to take back the reins on managing and looking after our mental health for the long term. Lost Connections highlights the importance of treating the root causes of the symptoms, as opposed to just managing the symptoms and living a 'label' in society. Full of insightful and eye-opening scientific studies (you probably haven't heard of in the media), this book is full of scary yet exciting evidence.

2015 A Miserable stick insect with a 'secret' ED

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

Consider these 9 impactful influences on your mental health:

- Disconnection from meaningful work

- Disconnect from other people

- Disconnect from meaningful values

- Disconnect from childhood trauma

- Disconnect from status and respect

- Disconnect from nature

- Disconnect from a hopeful & secure future

- Genes and changes in the brain do Influence our mental health (but influence is argued to be smaller at just 37%)

- Pharmaceutical industry loves telling us we have a 'chemical imbalance' = money

Positive influence:

- Social prescribing

- Meditation / Psychedelics (under supervision)

- Exposure to nature

- (Swapping disconnection with re-connection to the above negative influences)

- Acute loneliness causes the same amount of stress as being punched by a stranger...LOL

NYE 2019- Le straw that broke the camels back

Exposure to nature - a tip from Lost Connection...

“We only get to be in our bodies for a limited time, why not celebrate the journey instead of merely riding it out until it’s over?”

“We are all perfect in our own, magnificent, fu*ked-up ways. Laugh at yourself. Love yourself and others. Rejoice in the cosmic ridiculousness.” (Jen Sincero, You Are A Badass)

YOU ARE A BADASS (By Jen Sincero)

THE PLOT:

I LOVE THIS BOOK! Author Jen Sincero is like a wise, cool older sister / fun aunt who you go to for top advice in the most witty, relatable and hilarious way. You are a BADASS is like a bible for living a fun, free, bright, beautiful life with a pinch of grit and resilience to the hard-truths and unavoidable **** ups along the way. This book will get you marching to the beat of your own bongo drums, consider and change your limiting beliefs, and feel hot dam diggity fabulous.

Every chapter ends with Sincero's reminder to 'Love Yourself'. You get the vibe.

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

- Love yourself and the rest will follow.

- Procrastination is the easiest form of self-sabotage.

- Our thoughts are ver powerful- might as well make them fabulous ones.

- We all have subconscious -ve 'stories' we carry around with us that influence the way we act/ think/ speak.

- Take on the 'beginners mind' and be willing to learn - it's a lot more fun than trying to be PERFECT.

- Gratitude is a powerful, powerful tool.

- Forgive others & yourself (holding a grudge is a waste of your precious energy).

- YOU ARE A BADASS.

Releasing my inner Badass

Badass inner & outer love

“The truth is, the brain can be reprogrammed. You just have to be deliberate about it.”(Charles Duhigg, The Power Of Habit)

THE POWER OF HABIT (By Charles Duhigg)

THE PLOT:

Habits, habits, habits. This book, book, book. Re-programmed the way I live, work, move, eat, sleep etc. An utterly fascinating book (similar to Lost Connections) full of insightful studies and science, but simplified to allow you to take action and apply it to your own life. Habits can be incredibly beneficial to the way we live or devastatingly detrimental. As well formed loops in our neurological hardware, habits are addictive and well engraved into our squidgy little brain brains.

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

- 40% of our daily actions are habits (Most of them we don't even realise are habits...)

- Habits create cravings (this can be used to create positive habits too, e.g an endorphin rush from exercising)

- Small wins are the bee's knees for prompting positive change

- Habits apply to every element of life.

- CUE/ROUTINE/REWARD LOOP (Substitute the routine but keep the cue and reward the same)

- Willpower is one of the most powerful habits you can have, but it's like a 'muscle' you have to continuously work on.

- As consumers we continuously get mugged off by our habits through marketing methods and we don't even realise it hehe.

- We are RESPONSIBLE for changing our habits.

(A collection of photos as evidence that I bloody love a workout/ yoga/ meditation seshbecause it is now a well-looped #habit)

“You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of f*cks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a f*ck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get f*cked.” (Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck)

THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK (By Mark Manson)

THE PLOT:

I did lend this book to my lovely sister and after asking her to please return it home after a 2 year loan, I know for a fact that she has lost it. Choosing not to give a f*ck about not having the book for my blog photos, saving that energy for real f*cks. Mark Manson would be proud. Manson (similar to You Are A Badass author Jen) is like a cool older bro/uncle/legend, whose wise words are a breath of fresh air. This book is hilarious and full of so much, non-preachy wisdom. YAS!

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

- Struggles are inevitable, so make them work for you, choose your struggles wisely.

- Concentrate on a few decent things- the rest can f*ck off.

- F*ck bucks are like magical bits of money. Don't spend them all at once.

- Suffering can lead to great insights and breakthroughs.

- Find & establish healthier values to measure your 'success' by.

- Comparing yourself to others will only lead to disappointment, BOO.

- Don't chase pleasure, you may f*ck yourself over.

- Great values = creativity, humility, honestly and generosity.

- Don't be a victim, take full responsibility of your life.

- Grow from your mistakes and insecurities. They cute.

- You are NOT ALWAYS RIGHT.

- You are the master of what you give a FUCK about.

(Images showcasing me saving my f*ck bucks up for things in life that actually matter.)

“we are confined in our lives only by the limits of our own beliefs.” (Dr. Joe Dispenza, Becoming Supernatural)

BECOMING SUPERNATURAL (By Dr. Joe Dispenza)

THE PLOT:

This book will get everyone thinking you have well and truly lost the plot BUT also secretly curious as to why you are so god damn chill, breezy and bright. Truthfully, when I first read the book I was also sceptical. The self saboteur in me kept declaring reasons why this book wouldn’t work. It all sounded just too damn incredible.

Upon second read and actually implementing 'Meditation' and doing the inner 'work'. The penny well and truly dropped. Mind blown. Jeeez! This groundbreaking, one-of-a-kind book by Dr. Joe has changed the way I think about life and my capabilities on a whole new level! I shit you not, open your mind up to greater possibilities beyond what you know right now and you shall enter the realm of WTF. Whole body and brain highs and tingles like the worlds best spiritual orgasm. This brain-body connection and coherence will literally filter into everyday life.

Side not, it's an intense read but a very worthwhile one. Full of mind blowing miraculous case studies, guided meditations, and freaky insights. Becoming supernatural does what is says on the tin.

LESSONS OF THE NOVEL:

- Embrace and surrender to the unknown that's where the magic happens.

- Where the focus goes the energy flows.

- You can bend reality with your mind. (YOU HEARD ME)

- You can heal your body with your mind. (UH HUH)

- You are responsible for the energy you radiate into the atmosphere.

- Gratitude is a magnet for all things fabulous bby.

- The subconscious mind does not know the difference between an actual experience and the emotional effects of imagining an event in our mind (this can be both an advantage and a disadvantage).

- Get comfortable with icky feelings and use them to your advantage.

- Break the habit of being yourself = new beaut possibilities & experiences.

- Elevated emotions = internal biological & external upgrade.

- Emotions are addictive.

- You are a lot more powerful than you think....

The Moon August 2015- the beginning of a spiritual journey

Books are powerful, books make us look clever and wholesome and studious. Books and blogs change lives. To be or not to be that is.

The END.

Love

Bella xxx

Power Pose- Pic by @shotbykatrina_

REFERENCES:

1. Sleepover (Jacquline Wilson)

2. #GIRLBOSS (Sophia Amoruso)

3. The 5am Club (Robin Sharma)

4. Lost Connections (Johan Harri)

5. You are a BADASS (Jen Sincero)

6. The Power Of Habit (Charles Duhigg)

7. The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F*uk (Mark Manson)

8. Becoming Supernatural (Dr Joe Dispenza)