Twas the night before Christmas when I received a positive Covid test...

Bella
Jan 13, 2021
6 min read

Hello! Don't worry, I'm still alive. Thank **** for that. What the devil would we do without 21stCenturyBella. 2021 is going to be okay after all.

Shot by 'shotbykatrina_' (Katrina Holmes)

FORGIVE ME FOR I HAVE SINNED

Today I'm here to bring you some top secret gossip, spilling the tea, unearthing the dirt on all the Christmas Corona Dramas. I'm here to bridge the gap between the doomsday depicted by the media and the contrasting 'Corona doesn't exist, I'll be on my merry way' nay sayers. Before I carry on, I shall first address something to avoid potential hypocrisy within this blog. I will now lay my cards on the table.

Before I caught the Rona, I was getting PRETTY bored with the topic, choosing to avoid watching the news and rolling my eyes every time someone even uttered the letter C. Optimism is my middle name, and sometimes my reaction to the reality of doom is to pretend it doesn't exist! Before you assume I am a conspiracy theorist or a doomsday prepper, I respect the rules, agree Corona is very much a real thing and thank my lucky stars for the super heros (AKA. NHS workers) YOU ROCK and deserve a fat holiday/pay rise! In fact, I enjoy following the rules, being a rule breaker has never sat well with my guilt complex. I only ever received one detention in the whole of high school (and it was a lunchtime one). So you get the picture. However, I'll be the first to admit it... This year I haven't always been perfect with the rules (and me suspects I am not the only one to have accidently slipped up in the name of love). I shall be the first to admit being a silly bitch.

YOU NEVER KNOW THO...

Truth is, being naughty will always come and bite you in the bum. KARMA IS A BITCH. As I got excited for Christmas, Santi Claus looked at his scroll and sighed "Look Annabel - I'm not angry, just disappointed". But, but, but! Hold your horses. Before you start making assumptions about the younger 'reckless' generation. I can confirm I'm actually pretty boring, and THE IRONY IS prior to catching Corona I'd been pretty humdrum in my routine. I'd been to the dentist, went for a coffee, sat with my sister snuggled against a rock (****ed it again) and visited the horrors of Waitrose on Christmas Eve Eve (you read that right. I've upgraded my shop bby). FYI my sister didn't give me

Rona, nor did she catch it. Which brings me on to the hottest question on everyones lips...

THE BLAME GAME

The number one question I got asked upon diagnosis was... "how're you fee.... WHO GAVE IT TO YOU????". Yep I'm good thanks, thanks for asking. Cry. Cough. Truth is... I don't know and I don't really care. What am I going to do, put their head on a dartboard and play around the clock for 10 days? Perhaps it was the rock on the beach, perhaps the dog I stroked, perhaps massaging the avocados in Waitrose (oops mentioned it again). Honestly tho, aren't the Avocados the most fondled with item in the fruit and veg section. Think about it... have you ever bought an avocado without giving it a good grope? Alas, now that I shop at Waitrose and have had Corona, I am obviously an expert on current affairs...it's time for a grizzly tale for gruesome kids.

STORY TIME...

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... Probably because they know the drill by now. Stay away from the INFECTED. As I stood there, staring at my covid pregnancy test I couldn't believe my eyes. In fact, the reason we got the tests was for reassurance, allowing us the golden ticket to Christmas cheer, time with family and a chance to be near. Sadly, reality came knocking, drop-kicking us right in the shnozzle. As the results settled into my ticking brain, the sarcastic sound of Christmas jazz faded in the background... along with anyones ability to speak or find a loop whole in this bad dream. Everybody now! A one...a two... a one two three four... "STEP IN TO CHRISTMAS, LETS JOIN...TOGEHTANKJDBS". In a matter of seconds, it's incredibly odd how you can turn into that Monster Inc sock scene. '2319!'

SPREAD LOVE NOT GERMS

Me being the goody-2-shoes I am thought... 'What better way to spread Christmas cheer on Christmas Eve'. I KNOW, let's drop round both sets of Grandparents their Christmas gift and card! Fortunately, I used my common sense this particular evening and dropped the goods on their doorsteps, had a brief natter metres apart and went on my merry way. Unbeknownst to me, in a matter of hours I'd be calling the G's to spread even more Christmas cheer "DON'T TOUCH THE PRESENT!!". You'll be pleased to hear, my Grandparents are fine. Hi Grandma (she reads my blogs sometimes- cool high tech grandma, sorry for nearly killing you, love you). Anyways, the story gets better. As the symptoms made themselves snuggly at home, the news spread around my family like the plague, and the game of Chinese Whispers begins. By Boxing Day, the heartfelt visit to my Nan and Grandads had turned into "Omg did you hear, Annabel knew she had Corona and went over to Nan's and licked her face". This is what being a celebrity googling themselves must feel like. #fakenews

LEARNING HOW TO ADAPT

Whenever life throws a curve ball, one must learn how to pivot. As demonstrated by the VLOG (end of blog), me and bae made the best of the situation and spent some real QUALITY time together. Fortunately, me and my boyfriend don't hate each other and rode the Covid waves and emotions together. Pretty gnarly swell bro. One minute we would be hysterically laughing about silly shiz, the next crying at the prospect of it all going tits up, immersed by a sense of confusion and paranoia. An experience that I can only parallel to tripping badly on a weed muffin in Amsterdam once upon a time. Fortunately, we live attached to my significant-others parents house so were gifted with incredible food, drink and good cheer at Christmas (dinner bit bland if you ask me). Regardless of the unforeseen circumstances I felt rather grateful, even at a distance, we were incredibly blessed to have more company and festivity than many of those alone and Covid free this year.

If you're wondering how we made it work, we would sit outside whilst the non-infected sat inside (and visa versa). Wrapped in our layers, we ate and drank our worries away humming the tunes of Anastasia "And I wonder if you know, how it really feels. To be left outside alone when it's cold out here...". I couldn't help but feel like we were in a real life Ebenezer Scrooge scene, looking in on someones warm and cosy home. “Spirit,” said Scrooge, with an interest he had never felt before, “tell me if Tiny Tim will live.”

A 10 DAY CONFUSING, SCARY HANGOVER

I bet you are all wondering what it felt like. Let's remember, everyone gets it differently, this is therefore my experience. To summarise, it felt like a very long, confusing, lonely and indecisive hangover, minus the prior fun. A big ol' roller coaster of feels and ailments. I shan't dwell on the experience, for I appreciate others get it hella worst. Don't underestimate the power of C.

EVERY CLOUD HAS A SPARKLY SILVER LINING

I am sure some find my optimism and positivity absolutely sickening, after all, isn't it easier to complain, blame and excuse our way through life. Just like Mr Scrooge himself, I feel I have come out the other end, even more enlightened. I am truly grateful for the experience, most of all I am grateful for my health and the health of my loved ones. After all, as my Mum used to frequently tell me when I would moan about trivial things "It don't mean shit, if you feel unwell". YAS JANE! I finally agree, you are correctimondo. Wise lady. I now have more respect for my body, breathe the sea air in like it's fairy dust, and cherish human contact more than ever before,. Everything feels a lot simpler, clearer, and special. My toleration for my own and others BS is at an all time low. I've reflected on my ignorance and thought about the ever evolving, opinion changing, groundbreaking, surprising thing called 'life'. You never know what can happen, so you might as well try to enjoy it.

Thank you. You got dis X

If you want a piece of the Christmas pudding. Check out the VLOG below.